Sunday, April 21, 2013

Bad Monkeys

            I think I am a monkey. No, I am not trying to get anti-psychotics again. I just love it when my children groom me. Like monkeys do. Monkeys sit in their trees and pick the lice off of each other. No! I don’t have lice! I just like being groomed like a monkey.

            I love to sit on the floor and have my littlest spider monkey brush my hair. It is so completely relaxing. Well, except when he slaps the brush on my head and drags it through with so much force I briefly see stars. At this point he usually explains that it only hurts for a moment, but he’ll try to be more gentle. I’m sure I have never said that to him. Oh well: no pain, no pleasure. After a quick reminder to not rip out mommy’s hair, I fall back into my monkey-like trance.

            I love to have my nails painted, but only by my older howler monkey. I do try to be fair, but the littlest chimpanzee has been known to paint all the way up to my ankle. Feeling the cold paint on my nails makes me all tingly. I am even willing to let her pick out the design, which would explain the zebra stripes I occasionally display.

            I love it when they do my makeup. I have no favorites here. The littlest orangutan usually leaves me looking like a crazed clown that broke free from the circus. The other ball of orange fluff is apt at the rode-hard-and-worn-down hooker look. The fact that I will have to replenish my makeup supplies doesn’t even bother me. I just want to lie back and doze in the pampering of my precious little monkeys.    
            So, here is my dilemma in my blissful monkey world: if your baby monkey refuses to clean his room, is it wrong to let him out of time out because he offers to brush your hair?

Monday, April 8, 2013

Shameless Book Promotion

My Sister and her family came in this weekend so we could gather at Chucky Cheese to celebrate my nieces 8th birthday. It was fabulous and fun but kept me busy enough that I didn't get this weeks blog done.

I thought that I would use this lack of preparation to shamelessly promote my book and my adorable girl.  If you haven't already checked out her YouTube video and let us know what you think:

Monday, April 1, 2013

Have you met J.K. Kelley yet?

For this weeks post I thought I would share with you a Facebook post by J.K. Kelley. If you are not familiar with J.K. Kelley, allow me to have the pleasure of introducing you. 

J.K. is my editor extraordinaire. He is an odd mixture of crazy smart and incredibly funny, with a eccentric beard that might distract some from seeing his kind and compassionate heart.  My life experiences have made it difficult to earn my respect, so it isn’t a triviality when I inform you of his quality. 

His post touched me, not simply because I admire him, but also because he demonstrates true character. He openly shares what most of us might conceal. He doesn’t try to mask the mistakes of his past, but sees them as an obligation to make a stand and repair a fracture. 

He consistently makes me think and inspires me to do better. I hope he does the same for you...

If you wonder why I, traditionally not a big repeater of things or joiner of movements, have posted the marriage equality sign, know why:

I don't look down on anyone for not posting it. Such choices are intensely personal and no one should do such a thing solely under social pressure. I am heartened that many have. I think of every gay person I know who has been bullied over it, the way I was bullied in school just for being bright and socially awkward in a Cletus lumber town. How must they feel to see that now not only do they not stand alone, but there is an accumulated mass of people whose own lives marriage equality would not directly affect, yet who aren't afraid--who are proud, even--to be identified as standing with them. When I was being bullied, no one stood up for me, so I know what it's like to feel very alone and outgunned. I learned from that. I learned that I should do my small part to make sure others don't feel alone and outgunned. Zillions of red and pink equals signs have got to be giving tremendous heart to dozens of people I care about, and thousands I don't know but whom I wish to enjoy equality before the law. Plus, in my teens, I was just as homophobic as anyone else where I lived, and I was unkind to people who were suspected of being gay. I do not pardon myself for this for age or time elapsed; to emulate one's bullies is a terrible wrong done. I owe this for life, and I plan to keep paying. It is a debt I cannot discharge until the goal is won.
(March 26, 2013 on Facebook by J.K.Kelley)

If you want more of J.K., he has a blog @