Today, I am
going to absolve you of your guilt. I really can do it. I am amazing like that.
I am especially talented in the absolution of motherhood guilt. Buy my book and
read the chapter on perfection and
you will see how talented I am. You
won’t feel so guilty anymore. Well, I don’t feel so guilty anyway. Maybe
through osmosis, you won’t either.
We are
way too hard on ourselves as moms. We actually have the hardest job on the
planet. It is way more difficult than you ever imagined it would be. When we
first held our precious little person in our arms we were instantly devoted
because they were so tiny and sweet. And then they grew. Within a short period
of time our precious little angel turned into an egocentric, demanding,
miniature demon. Everyone you know pats you on the head and tells you how lucky
you are. If I am so lucky, you’re thinking, you take him home.
Feeling guilty yet? Be honest now, haven’t you
reminisced about your pre-parent years with the hunger of a crack addict in
rehab. You know you shouldn’t yearn for it, but you sometimes miss it
desperately. Don’t misunderstand me here, I love and adore my children
immensely, but I sometimes pretend that I am stranded on a desert island with
only a volleyball named Wilson.
See, as moms, we all
have those moments. It is universal. It is the reality of parenthood. But
we don’t talk about it because we feel guilty. We don’t acknowledge how
difficult parenthood is because we may be perceived as bad moms. Recently, I was making conversation with a mom
of toddlers and made my standard comment about how toddlers will kill you.
Obviously offended, she stated that her children were gifts to be treasured and
she adored them. Poor thing, I thought to myself, she has the toughest job
ever, and she has to pretend to love every moment.
They are gifts; nonetheless it’s a difficult present
to have sometimes. Not every day is a party. Not every day is a cake walk. Sometimes your
party dress gets a stain. Hell, sometimes you don’t even feel like wearing the
party dress, plastering on the fake smile, and pretending to like all the party
guests. Sometimes you desperately want to spike the punch.
So, why
can’t we say that to each other? Why can’t we universally band together and
support each other. This parenthood gig is difficult. For everyone who does it.
It doesn’t matter if you work or if you stay home. Some days are good, some
days are bad. Some days you just want to call in sick and eat brownies all day.
And that
leads us to your penance…..eat six brownies, read this blog everyday, and all
will be forgiven. See, no guilt. I told you I was amazing.