Monday, July 22, 2013

Pissing Contest




This may not be politically correct, but I have decided that parenting is a pissing contest. 
 
Seriously, don’t you feel like you are always in a power struggle with your little people? It gets really old, doesn’t it? The same issues, day in and day out. It can really wear you down. So, I have developed some standard responses to my young challengers:

~I’ll be the mom today. 
 
~Sorry, you’re not old enough to vote, so you’re not allowed to veto. 

~I didn’t receive your part of the mortgage, so you can not do whatever you want, whenever you want, with whomever you want, in my house. 

~One of us is going to win this, I bet it’s gonna be me. How much are you willing to wager?

~Google Andrea Yates and then decide if you want to keep pushing me.  

 ~I haven’t heard from your attorney, so your appeal is denied.

~If I am so dumb, how come I have all the power?  

~Just fill out the complaint form and put it in the box marked ‘garbage’.

And my very favorite: 

~As the warden of this prison, I get to see the sunshine, taste the steak, and smell the flowers. Keep it up kid, and you won’t be able to say the same.

2 comments:

  1. Wish I was your kid. I'd be laughing my head off

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    Replies
    1. You laugh because your not my kid. If you were my kid you would be rolling your eyes at me...

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