This may not be politically correct, but I have decided that parenting is a pissing contest.
Seriously, don’t
you feel like you are always in a power struggle with your little people? It
gets really old, doesn’t it? The same issues, day in and day out. It can really
wear you down. So, I have developed some standard responses to my young
challengers:
~I’ll be the mom today.
~Sorry, you’re not old enough to vote, so you’re not
allowed to veto.
~I didn’t receive your part of the mortgage, so you
can not do whatever you want, whenever you want, with whomever you want, in my
house.
~One of us is going to win this, I bet it’s gonna be
me. How much are you willing to wager?
~Google Andrea Yates and then decide if you want to
keep pushing me.
~I haven’t heard from your attorney, so your appeal
is denied.
~If I am so dumb, how come I have all the
power?
~Just fill out the complaint form and put it in the
box marked ‘garbage’.
And my very
favorite:
~As the warden of this prison, I get to see the
sunshine, taste the steak, and smell the flowers. Keep it up kid, and you won’t
be able to say the same.
Wish I was your kid. I'd be laughing my head off
ReplyDeleteYou laugh because your not my kid. If you were my kid you would be rolling your eyes at me...
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