Guilt and Absolution

              Today, I am going to absolve you of your guilt. I really can do it. I am amazing like that. I am especially talented in the absolution of motherhood guilt. Buy my book and read the chapter on perfection and you will see how talented I am. You won’t feel so guilty anymore. Well, I don’t feel so guilty anyway. Maybe through osmosis, you won’t either.

            We are way too hard on ourselves as moms. We actually have the hardest job on the planet. It is way more difficult than you ever imagined it would be. When we first held our precious little person in our arms we were instantly devoted because they were so tiny and sweet. And then they grew. Within a short period of time our precious little angel turned into an egocentric, demanding, miniature demon. Everyone you know pats you on the head and tells you how lucky you are. If I am so lucky, you’re thinking, you take him home.

             Feeling guilty yet? Be honest now, haven’t you reminisced about your pre-parent years with the hunger of a crack addict in rehab. You know you shouldn’t yearn for it, but you sometimes miss it desperately. Don’t misunderstand me here, I love and adore my children immensely, but I sometimes pretend that I am stranded on a desert island with only a volleyball named Wilson.

            See, as moms, we all have those moments. It is universal. It is the reality of parenthood. But we don’t talk about it because we feel guilty. We don’t acknowledge how difficult parenthood is because we may be perceived as bad moms.  Recently, I was making conversation with a mom of toddlers and made my standard comment about how toddlers will kill you. Obviously offended, she stated that her children were gifts to be treasured and she adored them. Poor thing, I thought to myself, she has the toughest job ever, and she has to pretend to love every moment.

            They are gifts; nonetheless it’s a difficult present to have sometimes. Not every day is a party. Not every day is a cake walk. Sometimes your party dress gets a stain. Hell, sometimes you don’t even feel like wearing the party dress, plastering on the fake smile, and pretending to like all the party guests. Sometimes you desperately want to spike the punch.

            So, why can’t we say that to each other? Why can’t we universally band together and support each other. This parenthood gig is difficult. For everyone who does it. It doesn’t matter if you work or if you stay home. Some days are good, some days are bad. Some days you just want to call in sick and eat brownies all day.

            And that leads us to your penance…..eat six brownies, read this blog everyday, and all will be forgiven. See, no guilt. I told you I was amazing.